An Intriguing Tale Of Being An Owner

Went to bed shortly after midnite.. and by my standard it’s early… and that’s because I’m exhausted.. from having to wait for my spouse.. till 2am .. every morning to go to bed.. just to chat with him for abit.. but it never happens. because by 2am.. either .. chloe is up again for milk.. or I am too pissed to talk with him.. or too tired.. i usually .. dozed off and snore before i even know it. And then I wake up at whatever time Chloe wakes up in the morning.. it could be 5am.. or 7am… and i have to tend to her.. because most times she refuses to go back to sleep straight away.. and wanna see wat the world has to offer her again.
At times.. my spouse will wake up between.. 10.30am – 11.30am.. and i would go upstairs and nap for 2hrs.. but because we don’ t have enough staffing and have to be at work by 1pm this week.. i tend not to go back to bed.. because of the various chores i have to do before going to work.
So i end up very tired.. not enough sleep.. having my menses.. and having to tend to chloe .. at the store.. so that my spouse can work.. from 1pm – 6pm.. and then come home.. feed chloe first.. and then feed myself.. and tend to chloe again.. before she goes down for the nite.. and of course… the mosquitoe bites.. are driving me nuts .. and up the wall.. and i see my spouse get all upset.. frustrated .. and agitated.. if chloe refuses to sleep any earlier.. either because he is tired.. or he wants to see his concubines.. and mistresses.. the everquacks..! So I try to take Chloe from him.. and calm Chloe down.. and play with her .. till she does sleep.. and then I stuff my face with food.. because my spouse will have his face stuff in front of his concubine (the computer)… and not talk with me for a few hours.. while i go about .. doing my own stuff.. like watching a chinese soap opera.. household chores.. and more stuffing of my face.
So by 2am in the morning.. when he is ready to go to bed.. and i’m too frustrated to wait anymore.. i end up .. in my bed .. all upset.. and tired.. and pissed..!
The saga goes on…………
So i went to bed just after midnite.. my spouse did too.. we talked for 2 mins… and i dozed off and snored.. and slept.. too tired.. from the past 3 days .. of sleeping late.. and waking up early with chloe.. chloe got up at about 7.15am.. i fed her.. she refuses to go to bed.. spouse took her for abit… and i took care of my itching legs.. from mosquitoes bite for abit.. and then took chloe from him… and brought her downstairs… played with her for abit.. and she went to nap again at 8.30am… it’s about 9.15am now.. and it looks like she is about to wake up again……. and where is my spouse.. up snoozzzzzzzzzzing……….
See wat i mean..!!!!!!! Oh well..!! we’ve established this.. Chloe is MY baby..!!

Too concern..?? overly motherly..?? or just plain.. waiting to get smack in the face. Everytime, I ask my spouse to go get something to eat, he would either say he is fine.. or he is not hungry. But everytime he doesn’t eat for a long period of time.. i noticed that he gets a uncomfy feeling in the tummy after eating.. which in my opinion .. is norm.. when you don’t eat for a long time.. and then eat.. you get gas, for some ppl .. it doesn’t bother them.. for some it bothers them more. So in order to avoid this discomfort.. i always encourage my spouse to eat like I .. every 3hrs.. but of course.. he refuses to see it my way. And whenever I ask him to go get food (moreso now..because we have to be at the store till late.. since we don’t have even staffing).. he makes me feel like a bug or when he eventually does go get food.. he does it so grudgingly.. and then i get all upset .. because of his attitude. So why do I even bother to even ask him to go get food..??? If I were home .. in singapore.. i would have smack his face.. and send him to London Square.. but for now… i am alone in a foreign country.. no car.. and cannot drive.. so cannot just up and leave.. when he gives me his attitude.. but one day.. one day.. when I am no longer around.. anymore.. i hope that someone treats him the way he wants.. ignore him completely..??!!!??? Don’t care whether he eats or not.. or if his stomach bothers him or not.. in the evening. I hope he gets someone he so rightfully deserve.
So my resolution .. from now.. no more asking him to go eat or get food.. and end up feeling like a damn fool.

Chloe’s ex-babysitter came to visit at the store yesterday.. and Chloe just took to her immediately.. !!! Baffled i am .. because Chloe hasn’t seen her for almost 3 weeks now..!!! I’m happy for Chloe that she can remember her of course.. because I don’t want Chloe to forget her either.. and when Chloe grow older.. i will certainly let Chloe know that she helped babysat her .. when she was an infant. When i told Mr C that she was in and chloe took to her immediately .. Mr C said.. she had her horns filed and hidden well.. hahah!! it was funny..!! Now that made me wonder once again.. but like i said.. i can’t take any chances with my daughter.. and i don’t wanna be one of those mom.. that regrets in the end.. and say.. why didn’t i do this.. or that.. because with Chloe i cannot afford any kinda mistake.. she is too precious .. to me. So yes.. i still stick by my decision.. that looking after Chloe on my own is still the best.

Someone came into the store yesterday evening .. and started telling our Store Manager that he hoped my daughter don’t look like me..???!!!???? Wonder wats that all about..???!!!??? His way of camouflaging that his daughter is not his..???!!!??? like we all suspect..??!!!??? Or in reality.. he is just gay.. ???!!!??? As we chinese believed .. that men don’t gossip.. nor are they petty..??!!?? or am I wrong..??? Well .. maybe there is a reason for him saying that.. since his spouse was fired from our store many years ago.. and they think that it had to do with me…. but in fact.. I never resort to firing unless absolutely necessary. Just ask our store manager.. who has been with us … for almost 2 yrs now.. and you will understand.. wat kinda moron we come across in our store. Employees who do nothing .. and wanna be paid weekly.. and when you counsel and counsel and re-counsel them.. they still don’t do wat you ask of them.. and they still think that they got fired because of personal agendas..!!! Oh .. Plllleeeeeeeeeeeassssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! my life is more fulfilling than this.. !!!! I have no time for small pettiness .. nor small town thinking…!!! I wish ppl would come up to me.. directly .. and be sarcastic in front of me.. then to do it at the back of me.. because when I wanna be sarcastic to someone. .. i do it when they are around.. which i think is more effective.. don’t you think..??!!!??? Well.. to you-know-who-you-are… you can go on wishing that my daughter don’t look like me for a million years.. unfortunately .. your wish ain’t gonna come thru’.. because my daughter look every inch like me and my spouse….. and as for yours.. the two of yours will never look like you .. and you know why…!!

Ever since Big R and M left for Halifax after school, we have been having a hard time finding replacements for them. Some hired on were either not doing the job right by being too relaxed or others are just completely not suitable for the job we have to offer.
We had to let S.R go because he cannot make up his mind whether he wants to work or not. And A .. he quit because he thinks he is not suitable for the job. We then hired on N, who was either too nice..??!!?? or just refuses to follow procedures and standards??!!??? We don’t know wat to make outta N??!!!??? Nice guy but way too… relaxed. Anyhow.. we hired on Cl.. and wow.. !! she worked out good… after a week.. we were thinking.. hey.. we could give her the keys to the store soon..!!! Hurray..!!! And a week into her job .. she was offered another job at Register.com. offering her $13/hr …. money we can’t afford right at the moment.. even my store manager is making less than $13/hr.. so how to fight with Register.com .. a call center based in Yarmouth, HQ in NY. Oh well.. just our luck..???!!!??? But this time… i took it more lightly than I would have a couple of year ago … and looked at it.. on all positive sides. After almost 4 yrs in Yarmouth, NS.. I kinda am able to expect the worst from the ppl here.. or learnt not to expect any good employees to be found in Yarmouth..???!!?? Luckily we have .. our store manager who is steadfast.. and loyal..
So i am learning to count my blessings everyday.. Life has taken a strange turn .. in mine.. if it was before.. a long time ago.. in Singapore.. i would expect nothing but excellence.. in performance.. after being in Yarmouth for a few years.. I’ve learnt to lower my expectations .. and count my blessings.. Like when once i can get any kinda food in Singapore in less than 30mins.. now.. i have to first hunt for the ingredients for months.. and then test cook them for months.. before i can get some local dishes..
But life goes on.. and I’ve just gotta learn to relax more.. and be patient.. especially now I have a daughter.. and i wanna set a good example for my daughter..