The tooth that i have to do work on .. root canal.. is hurting again.. since yesterday.. and taking advil didn’t help at all this time… so it suxs.. first the hives.. then the tooth.. then the back.. and then the tooth again.. suxs big time.. 🙁
And we are planning on a trip to PEI.. SUXS…!!! How to enjoy the trip.. and all the good food..!!!!

Back Pain

My back hurts like shit..!! I hope it wouldn’t affect our plans to go to PEI .. for i really wanna go.. although .. i am worried for Chloe.. if she would be good in the car.. for the ride.
Gonna get some rest … and hope .. everything turns out alright.

Sunny days

The weather here is just crazy.. all summer .. we didn’t have much of a summer.. and now.. the weather is more summer than during the whole summer. Boy..!! it suxs..!!
Plus now.. my back is hurting.. i can’t even do much outdoors.. with such nice weather.. damn..!! Yarmouth Suxs..!! Weather Suxs..!! Ppl Suxs.!!!! My back Suxss..!!!

More presents from Grammie

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Grammie’s present from Maine .

Present from Grammie

Grammie came back from Maine today.. and we went to visit her .. at home.. she bought chloe a ball .. by winnie the pooh.. and a set of clothings.
Brian who is Chloe’s godma’s brother was in town from Ontario.. but we didn’t get to see him.. apparently he left as soon as we got in.. seems to be upset about something.. oh well.. Uncle Brian for you .. 🙁
He didn’t even bothered to come see Chloe… since he hasn’t seen her before. Too sad.. to have an uncle who is so engrossed in wallowing in his own sorrow.
Guess Chloe ain’t gonna know her Uncle Brian very well.

Present from Grammie

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Another present from Grammie

Sleeping alone

Yesterday nite .. was the first time .. since i came to Canada .. that i’ve slept on my own.. without my spouse. My back was hurting so bad.. that i decided to go sleep in the guest room.. on the new bed… that we had prepared for my MIL who was looking after Chloe.. but ever since she stopped coming no one used it .. so far.. it’s is just a double bed.. so we couldn’t change.. and use that bed instead.
Anyhow.. after switching bed.. i did get some rest. But it felt so strange to sleep alone.. but i was way too tired.. and too painful.. to even think of it.
I got some rest for sure.. coz’ my spouse woke up with Chloe.. in the morning.. and i continued sleeping.
Sleeping alone is no fun.. but if that is wat it takes to heal my back.. and get some rest.. i guess i just have no choice till we get a king size bed.

House Hunting

We’ve been house hunting since the earlier part of this year… but we haven’t been having alot of luck. The house we liked .. are too ex.. the house we don’t like.. of course they are within our price range.. but we don’t wanna buy.
One is listed last week.. and we kinda like it from the outside. and the price is right.. so hopefully after viewing it.. we will still like it enough to make an offer.. and hoping .. no one offer before us.
Keeping our fingers cross.. because i really wanna get a new house.


I am thankful for my spouse.. thankful for having our store manager working for us.. and thankful that we hired L on.. for she seems to be working out better than we expected.
My pinch nerve is not really that much better.. but i could do a little more than yesterday.. because i don’t wanna feel useless… and make my spouse do everything.. for he already woken up with Chloe .. this morning at 5.45am.. and at 8.45am.. so i thought i had better relief him abit.. so he doesn’t fall ill.. or get too tired.
Chloe hurt herself today. in the mouth.. while jumping up and down the crib.. i was so panicky.. because she had blood coming out from her mouth.. somewhere.. and i couldn’t see where she was hurt.. and because my spouse was in the bathroom.. i didn’t dare make her cry.. trying to see more clearly into her mouth.. so i just tried to make her comfy.. and soothe her as much as possible. But after my spouse came downstairs.. i felt better… and i was thinking.. jeezzee.. i was watching her.. and yet chloe hurt herself.. so next time.. i have to watch her even better.
But i am thankful that she is alright.. and forgotten about it already. I hope things get back to normal soon… meaning my back don’t hurt no more.. so that we can go back to routine. But i am thankful.. that this time.. my back .. is not as bad .. as when it first got hurt.
So yes.. i’ve alot to be thankful for, so next time i wanna bitch at my spouse.. i better stop and be thankful.


I had getting sick of any kind.. because i’m afraid.. that there is no one to take care of chloe.. because chloe can be a handful at times.. but the more worried i get.. the more breathless i become.. *sigh*. Part of me know that her daddy will definitely take care of her.. but part of me.. worried that chloe may be too much for him to handle.
Deep down inside … i worry that my spouse is willing to have Chloe .. because i love kids so much.. and he had many a times told me.. he don’t like kids.. and yet i insisted on having at least one. Am I being selfish..?? by wanting wat i want..?? and not caring for his feelings..??
In a way … i guess i am.. and therefore i now worry all the time.. if i needed any help from him.. because I was the one who wanted the baby… therefore .. i should be the one.. who is taking care of Chloe.. ?? because he didn’t ask to have a baby.. and he repeatedly told me.. he don’t like kids.. so yes, I was selfish.. but Chloe is here now..and no changing it. I just have to make the best outta it. And hope i don’t get too sick too often. If given a choice i would rather stay up with Chloe 24hrs.. than to be sick.

Pinched nerve

I have the worst luck.. it’s one thing after another.. first i got sick.. and then .. i had hives.. and now.. i think i have a pinched nerve.. from an old injury from years ago.
I can’t bent or walk properly .. or if i sit and get up.. it would hurt like shit..!! Therefore .. meaning i can carry Chloe and wouldn’t be able to look after her properly.. knowing how needy she is most times. I feel so anxious because of it. But there is nothing i can do.. and i know it.. so i would just have to take things easy for a few days.. and not think that the whole world is gonna crumble down.. because i am taking a rest.
I feel bad for my spouse too.. because he is doing way too much for Chloe and me already.. by my chinese standard.. compared to wat i know.. and experience.. from my parents and grandparents time.. he is already doing alot. So that’s the reason why i hate getting sick.. because i feel so useless.. and troublesome . .to everyone.. for i know i would look after chloe all on my own.. clean the whole house.. and look after the store.. if i could .. by myself.
I try to do too much .. at times i know.. and that’s no good.. i should learn to take it easy.. but easier said than done.

Grammie on Holiday

Grammie went for a short holiday in Maine, USA today on Scotia Prince. Weather was bad here today, I hope the boat wasn’t too choppy though because we know Grammie has got motion sickness.
And just before grammie went for her holiday with her line-dancing group, she came by the store to visit Chloe, and Chloe did allowed Grammie to carry her FINALLY..!! Boy, that must have made her day.. hahah!!
Hope grammie has a good holiday.

Almost normal

We’ve gone back to the almost normal routine for Chloe.. except ..she doesn’t wanna eat her solids alot. I gather it must be because of her teething, so i am gonna let it slide for a while.. and see wat happens.
Chloe is still cranky when she wants to.. but at least she doesn’t wake up fussing too much, so i thank God for it. If she is cranky during the day.. it isn’t so bad.. because we can handle it better. But she has got the worst temper.. if you don’t give her something she wants.. she would cry till she throws up.. and then .. she would quieten down. We don’t know how to break this bad habit.. or do they always turn out this way.. no matter wat during the first 2 yrs..?? till they understand and can talk back to us..?? I’m just waiting for the day to come.. where i can teach chloe the right and wrongs. I sincerely hope .. i do a good job as a mom.. and bring chloe up right .. and proper.

Wedding Trip to PEI

I am so excited now.. because we are leaving for PEI for a wedding.. 🙂
Chloe’s godfather is getting married.. and this is our first long trip with Chloe, would be really exciting for me.
I am really looking forward to some good rest (no work.. or worry about the store).. and leisurely doing stuff .. instead of having to rush, rush all the time. Just take time for Chloe and us.. 🙂
Now if only Chloe would wake up from her nap.. so that we can go shop for stuff for the trip, she has been napping for close to an hour now.

Back to normal

Our life is pretty much back to normal, now that Chloe is feeling better. She can be cranky still.. but we’ve learnt to cope with it better.
And now that we have a new staff.. who seems to be working out really good… my hives has not appeared for days… *touch wood*.. 🙂
Chloe is as active as ever and i think has learnt the meaning of “no” .. and stopped touching the things .. or maybe some.. of the things.. she shouldn’t be touching. She is also getting taller.. and aleady trying to reach for the things on the third shelf of the bookcase.
She is also not so needy today.. and let me go about doing a few of my own things, so that was great.
Her da-da woke up with her for her first morning feed at 4am.. and i woke up with her.. when she woke up at 8.30am.. so that her da-da can sleep in. He woke up at 11am.
Overall, Chloe’s screaming and cramps that we’ve experienced helped me realised how little patient i have .. and how much i will go thru’ for my daughter. And how much I learn everyday from this little angel of mine.

Finally .. a nite of sleep.

Chloe finally went back to her normal routine last nite.. she slept at 9pm.. didn’t fuss much.. and woke up at 6am .. this morning.. and gone straight to bed.. after 4 ozs of milk.. and woke up only at 9am. I am so happy…. because she slept..and wasn’t in any pain ..last nite.. and this morning. I didn’t really get alot of rest.. because i kept waking up every now and check on Chloe.
And i decided that i cannot advocate the “training our baby to sleep” by babywise because i am made of tofu… kekekek..!! I felt so sad for the whole nite.. after i tried letting Chloe cry to sleep.. in the afternoon .. because she was so needy.
Today she did pretty well too.. maybe because both her da-da and I were with her the whole day.. since we didn’t open for business today… being sunday.
Also today we changed Chloe’s car seat to a regular one.. coz’ we have been using the portable one .. since she was born.. the one that you carry around… but she has outgrown it.
She seems to like the new carseat alot.. so we are very happy.
I hope Chloe sleep throughout the nite tonite too.. but if she doesn’t .. i am prepared to wake up with her.. and not force her to go back to sleep… but wait patiently for her to.

Wat a Day..!!

We brought Chloe into Emergency and Outpatient’s at Yarmouth Regional Hospital this morning at 6am.. when Chloe started her squirming and farting and this time it seems even worst .. she almost like went into a fit.. when i was trying to calm her down at 5.30am.. in the morning.
So i woke her da-da up..and he fetched us to the hospital.. there was no one there.. which was surprising.. being a saturday morning but i was elated.. because that meant … no waiting time for chloe.. so i thought. But how wrong i was.. *sigh*. The nurse saw chloe.. took down all the symptoms that we told her.. and took Chloe weight and temperature.. by the way she is 22 Ibs. She then told us that the doctor will only be able to see her at 9am.. it was 6am then.. F***KING UNBELIEVEABLE!!!!! Anyhow.. i told her we will come back at 9am then.
Came home.. Chloe’s da-da went back to bed.. while i fed chloe some milk.. hoping that she would go back to sleep.. she did sleep on me.. after taking 2 ozs of milk and while i burped her, she slept soundly on my shoulders.. but as soon as i put her down in her crib.. she woke up crying.. and finally she didn’t sleep anymore. I played with her for abit.. on the floor.. and at about 9am.. she acted sleepy again.. so i gave her more milk.. since she didn’t have much… once again.. i tried putting her in the crib.. and again.. she would wake up crying.. after trying a few times.. she finally went to bed.. i took this opportunity to quickly clean up her bottles.. and do dishes.. and put away dishes..and change all her towels.. and stuff.. and at 9.30am.. i laid down for a rest.. but i couldn’t really sleep.. because one side of the crib is not lifted up..and i daren’t try.. because i know it is gonna wake chloe up.. so i keep myself alert.. and rest my eye and my so tired body.. and 9.50am.. chloe woke up.. to play again.
I waited for abit.. for her da-da to wake up.. but i guess he must be tired.. so i decided to feed chloe with some oatmeal cereal.. even though i didn’t want to.. thinking that maybe .. it may be the cause of her farting and all. But Chloe was obviously hungry by 10.30am.. and gobbled down 2 tablespoons of cereal.. in a couple of minute.. no need coaxing.
Her da-da woke up at 10.55am.. a much needed rest .. he took. And got me breakfast from Macs. And i snapped at him when he was asking me questions.. because i was trying to eat my food.. as i was hungry as hell and wanted my coffee badly.
After my food.. i waited for my spouse to have his breakfast.. knowing how needy chloe can be.. and was kinda hoping.. to bring chloe back to outpatients when he is done breakfast.. and using the bathroom. It was almost 12pm then.. when he finished doing wat he needed to… and chloe was due for some more milk.. so i fed chloe with milk.. and sent her da-da to use the that we can head out to the hospital again.. if chloe doesn’t nap. Well she didn’t nap.. and i quickly went to brush my teeth.. and wash up.. for by now.. i look very much like a zombie.. plus my tooth was hurting me.. from not going for my root canal.
We went back to the hospital.. and after much explaining.. the nurse said to me. that the earliest the doctor could see chloe was an hour.. and there were ppl sniffing.. and looking sick.. so i didn’t want chloe to be in the hospital.. since chloe wasn’t really that kinda sick, for i didn’t want her to catch anything.. so we decided not to wait and see the doctor.. because it defeated the purpose already.. when we went at 6am.. and there was no F***king doctor!
Anyhow.. we went back to the store for abit.. and took chloe for a walk in the stroller hoping she would go down for a nap, but sleep was elusive for her today.
And i ended up sleeping only an hour .. after we came home.. because i had to eat.. and then went i tried to nap..i couldn’t F***king sleep… no matter how much i tried.. and didn’t sleep long.. because my spouse needed to be at work at 5pm.. so an hour later. i woke up.. even though my alarm hadn’t gone off yet. I am just way too.. saintlike..!! And i hate myself for that… and chloe had a fit this evening while my spouse was at work..and threw up and all.. and i felt the worst ever.. because i refuses to let chloe think she figured us out.
It’s 12.58am.. and i should be in bed.. but i had to log this down.. and eat before i sleep.. for i know if i don’t .. i will end up like last nite.. not sleeping till 2.30am.
Chloe has been in bed since 9pm.. hopefully she sleeps for another few more hours.. and let me rest just a little.. so that i can wake up..and be with her because i cannot advocate the crying training. So off to bed i go now.

I could smack myself

I went to bed at 12.20am.. chloe is sleeping.. and i got up at 2am… to get a sandwich because i can’t seems to sleep… from the growling of my tummy.. and thinking of food..!!!
I could smack myself.. but wait.. i better go sleep now.. since i’ve eaten.

Another mad day!

Wonder when these no sleep nite is gonna end.. 🙁
I’m going bonkers… and in lots of anxiety… which is not good at all.
We didn’t go to the doctor’s .. because i can sense that my spouse wasn’t too keen in going .. seeing that chloe was getting better.. so we didn’t go.
We went to the mall instead.. and i thought we lost chloe’s bottle in the supermarket.. but in fact i didn’t even bring it in.. the way my spouse acted.. when i asked him.. if he had seen the milk bottle.. when we got into the car.. sent me into a frenzy.. not knowing whether it was better to go look for it.. or send him to look for it.. or just forget about the milk bottle… 🙁
I had wanted to forget it.. since my spouse acted so irritated.. but then he said.. don’t the milk bottle cost 5 bucks.. so i said.. ok.. i will go look for it.. and i went into the supermarket to every isle to search for it.. but i also started thinking hard.. if i did bring the bottle in.. or was it in the car still. I cannot remember. and my heart was beating so fast.. from worrying about making him wait so long in the car.. and with chloe.. don’t know if chloe was fussing or not.. 🙁
I finally gave up.. went to information and left my name there in case .. someone turned it in. Went back to the car.. and true enough chloe was fussing.. time to have some milk i think. So we rushed home.. didn’t get to go to the pharmacy.. because i had spent more time than my spouse wanted on cheap clothes for chloe.. for the winter.
Anyhow we went home.. fed chloe.. fed ourselves.. it was about 4pm then.. and my spouse went to work at 5pm.
Chloe was alright .. till about 7.15pm.. when i said no to her.. about going near the heater.. knowing that winter is coming soon.. so gotta train her now.. so she don’t get hurt. She started crying.. and threw up all over me.. and i had to change her.. clean up the mess on the floor and chair.. and then brought her upstairs.. so that i can change.. and i raised my voice at chloe.. because she would sit in her playpen.. for a second for me to change. I changed quickly.. and brought her down.. and at 8 something my spouse came home to bring chloe and I to the pharmacy.. we bought chloe some gravol for kids.. and came home.. and fed her.. while my spouse went back to the store.. and close up.. since our new staff .. was still too new to close on her own. Chloe slept at 9.30pm to 10.05pm.. and woke up..and didn’t wanna go back to sleep.. just refuses.
Anyhow… while playing tonite.. she bumped her head against the leg of my chair.. and it sent her screaming.. and a huge bump near her left eye.. poor baby.
She finally went down to sleep at 12midnite.. and i’m constantly cleaning up. .making her milk. during all these time .. while her da-da stays with her.
Now time for bed.. hopefully… she sleeps till the morning. Oh God.. please let Chloe sleep till morning. at least till 7 – 8am.. please..!!
My spouse and I are so exhausted.. and my chest hurts from carrying chloe too much… i think anyway.. since it only hurts when i move my hands.

Poor Da-da

Chloe did sleep last nite.. from 9pm.. but woke up several times in between .. till about 9.30pm.. she slept right up to 2.30am.. and then didn’t wanna go back to bed.. and as usual.. squirmed.. and farted alot..and cried alot.. 🙁
Her da-da brought her downstairs.. and dozed off snoring till the morning at 10.30am… UNBELIEVEABLE..!!
Poor da-da .. up with her the whole nite.. and chloe only went to bed at 4am.. and slept till 7am.. and woke up again.. and didn’t wanna go back to sleep.. usual farting and all.
Poor .. poor da-da.. 🙁 I can’t believed he let me sleep in so late.. poor thing.. 🙁
Now da-da is up napping for abit.. but we have a doctor’s appt at barrington for chloe at 2pm.. so we will have to leave at 1pm .. the latest.. so da-da is not gonna get much rest.. and have to drive and work tonite.. poor . .poor da-da.. 🙁
When Chloe grows up.. she better know wat kinda torture she make us go thru’.. hahhaha!! And luckily we have jenn our store manager.. who made the appt for chloe for dr mikhail.. how she managed to get in today.. is just amazing.. !! So chloe .. when you grow up .. you better thank Jenn too.. 🙂