Can’t sleep without YOU..??

I went to bed at about 12.30am.. Chloe went to sleep at about 9pm.. but really only got to sleep good after midnite.. she did stirred quite abit before then. Had to pick her up a few times.. and my spouse came to bed at around 2.30am – 3am.. ??? I tried the hardest to sleep.. but never got any shut eye till my spouse came up to bed… !! Suxs!!! Big time..!! And i really cannot comprehend it..??? I never used to have this problem.. before we were together.. I’ve always been able to sleep on my own… so why this now..???!!!?? And I get really mad with myself.. because I know i have to wake up with Chloe at watever time .. she gets up.. and today.. it was at 6.45am.. and usually chloe doesn’t wanna go back to bed immediately.. after her milk..and i end up bringing her downstairs.. change her diapers.. and wait abit more.. till she wants to sleep.. and give her more milk.. and rock her to sleep.. and by that time.. i am wide awake..! SUXS..!! and am hungry.. so i make my breakfast.. clean chloe’s toys… do watever dishes .. or put them away.. or do payroll like this morning.. and remittance. and schedule for the store… and there goes another hour and 30mins.. ok.. i’m gonna try going to bed.. and hopefully chloe doesn’t get up yet.. otherwise.. i will not be able to sleep some more.. plus gotta be at the store by latest 12noon today.. because it’s a friday.. and need to go to Vanguard to do some advertising.. for our new price on game rental. SUXS!!!! @#$%%^^$$%

To change or not to change..??

Ever since I’ve been in Canada, I’ve been sorta seeing wat my spouse have to go thru’ with the employees he hired. It’s hard to find good help where we are and even harder to retain the good ones. The bad ones we can fire them fast enough. The heartache, headaches, the money, the training and on top of all these .. all the bullshit … he has to put up with. From employees not turning up to work, to those who turn up but don’t work and those who turn up and have his whole family come to work with them or their b/fs or g/fs hanging out at the store for the entire time they are at work. And those who turn up for work drunk, those who thinks that you are setting them up to embarrass them because you told them the right way to do things in front of a customer, or those who will call up and say he is gonna be late for work because his jeans is in the dryer.. and that he had fallen asleep the nite before and didn’t finish putting his laundry in the dryer. And those who can predict when they are gonna be sick. Not forgetting those… who brings all their family problems to work.. fighting at work with their spouse. And those who are on the internet the whole time they are working or working on their website. Plus those who wants to do things the way they think is best and refuses to follow your instructions. And many more… that i wouldn’t go on about.
We do have one good employee that came along.. she has been with us .. for more than a year.. but now .. she is planning to go back to school.. or do something.. “respectful”.. and we don’t know when she is gonna decide .. wat she wants to do… because she is very young still. Of course I encouraged her to go back to school… because if she was my daughter … i would want her to go back to school too.. and finish her school. I know it would sux big time for us.. if she leaves.. but I must do the right thing and cannot be selfish about it.. because it is just not like us to discourage her.. when we know that she is doing something good for herself. But like i said. it would SUX big time because we have come to really like her alot.. because she is sensible.. reliable.. and never argue back.. and someone we can trust and a good employee.
So if Jenn really leaves … we have to decide .. whether to change our opening hours or not..?? Because we can’t hire good employees.. we may have to work ourselves only. For I feel that it may be less heartache and headaches for us.. and we don’t have to deal with all sorts of bullshit. But with Chloe .. we don’t know how it is gonna work out… working on our own only. So the big question is to change our operation time and procedure .. or not..??!!!?? Or do we continue wasting money and time.. trying to find the right employee..??? Is it really so hard to find good ppl who wants to work.. and not give us any bullshit.. and hanky panky..????!!!??? It almost seems impossible to find good ppl around to hire and we are not the only one experiencing this staffing problem, apparently every small business is. So wats is the problem with this town..???!!!?? It cannot be only the wages.. ??!!!??? Because we do pay our employees.. not the top money.. but good money… and good hours.. so wat is the real problem…???? PPl here are too complacent… if they can work the government.. they will.. they go on unemployment.. and collect unemployment insurance .. anytime they can get a chance to .. instead of doing some honest work. I know of a previous employee.. who wanted us to up his pay.. and lessen his hours..hahahahah!!!! Funny person.. ! So when we wouldn’t do it.. he quit.. and collected unemployment for more than a year.. and until .. his unemployment ran out.. he wouldn’t work. I really don’t understand how someone can just sit home and do nothing.. and draw unemployment .. like an invalid..???!!!??? Of course if it was a genuine case.. i can understand .. those ppl drawing unemployment.. but for someone who can work.. and don’t wanna work and expect us to raise his pay.. and lessen his hours.. while he steals from us.. by offering his services to OUR customer at their home for computer repairs .. when we do computer repairs at our store??!!!??? He must think we are dumb.. or wat???!!!???
Anyhow.. i figured it would be best that we work ourselves instead.. if Jenn does leave.. and change the operation hours.. and plus.. Chloe will be growing older everyday.. so things wouldn’t be that bad.. i am sure.. but we’ll have to see. But it does suxs when you cannot get one or two good and reliable employees. Prolly gotta import some from the Philippines…. haha!!

8 Months Old

My little Chloe will be 8mths old today. For those who wants to see her in picture.. you can visit Chloe’s webpage 8 months .
Chloe has really grown alot.. and i tell you it’s alot.. not only in weight and height.. but also in intelligence.. and mobility.. and physically. From a tiny baby.. who couldn’t even turn herself over or hold her head up.. 8mths is incredible.. !!
She not only makes all sorts of sound… and faces.. and she smiles when you smile at her.. or she does her little shy action.. when she meets someone new.. or she screams when you take away her toys. From a tiny baby.. who only drinks milk.. she eats all sorts of food now.. from cereal.. to cheese and broccoli. From 4 oz of milk per feeding to 6 oz now. From neither being able to sit up on her own.. to crawling.. and standing up .. with the help of anything she can get ahold of to support her.
Thank you, God .. for giving Chloe to us. Thank you so much for giving us so much joy in Chloe. I cannot imagine living one day without her.

Talking to the whole world except me .. I fucking resent it !!!!!!

Went to bed shortly after midnite.. and by my standard it’s early… and that’s because I’m exhausted.. from having to wait for my spouse.. till 2am .. every morning to go to bed.. just to chat with him for abit.. but it never happens. because by 2am.. either .. chloe is up again for milk.. or I am too pissed to talk with him.. or too tired.. i usually .. dozed off and snore before i even know it. And then I wake up at whatever time Chloe wakes up in the morning.. it could be 5am.. or 7am… and i have to tend to her.. because most times she refuses to go back to sleep straight away.. and wanna see wat the world has to offer her again.
At times.. my spouse will wake up between.. 10.30am – 11.30am.. and i would go upstairs and nap for 2hrs.. but because we don’ t have enough staffing and have to be at work by 1pm this week.. i tend not to go back to bed.. because of the various chores i have to do before going to work.
So i end up very tired.. not enough sleep.. having my menses.. and having to tend to chloe .. at the store.. so that my spouse can work.. from 1pm – 6pm.. and then come home.. feed chloe first.. and then feed myself.. and tend to chloe again.. before she goes down for the nite.. and of course… the mosquitoe bites.. are driving me nuts .. and up the wall.. and i see my spouse get all upset.. frustrated .. and agitated.. if chloe refuses to sleep any earlier.. either because he is tired.. or he wants to see his concubines.. and mistresses.. the everquacks..! So I try to take Chloe from him.. and calm Chloe down.. and play with her .. till she does sleep.. and then I stuff my face with food.. because my spouse will have his face stuff in front of his concubine (the computer)… and not talk with me for a few hours.. while i go about .. doing my own stuff.. like watching a chinese soap opera.. household chores.. and more stuffing of my face.
So by 2am in the morning.. when he is ready to go to bed.. and i’m too frustrated to wait anymore.. i end up .. in my bed .. all upset.. and tired.. and pissed..!
The saga goes on…………
So i went to bed just after midnite.. my spouse did too.. we talked for 2 mins… and i dozed off and snored.. and slept.. too tired.. from the past 3 days .. of sleeping late.. and waking up early with chloe.. chloe got up at about 7.15am.. i fed her.. she refuses to go to bed.. spouse took her for abit… and i took care of my itching legs.. from mosquitoes bite for abit.. and then took chloe from him… and brought her downstairs… played with her for abit.. and she went to nap again at 8.30am… it’s about 9.15am now.. and it looks like she is about to wake up again……. and where is my spouse.. up snoozzzzzzzzzzing……….
See wat i mean..!!!!!!! Oh well..!! we’ve established this.. Chloe is MY baby..!!

Whose baby is she..??

Coming home from Zellers tonite.. my spouse and I were arguing about whose baby is Chloe… kekeke!! I feel that Chloe is more my baby .. because i carried her for 10months… and 2 more weeks.. because she was overdue.. and had a major op.. because of having her.. so she has to be my baby..!! My spouse argued that.. Chloe is his baby.. because.. without his super sperm… i wouldn’t have a baby.. lol! Because of my large fibroid.. my gynae back home told my spouse.. that i may not be able to get pregnant.. that’s is where the super sperm derived..hahah!! Well.. I see it this way.. Chloe is definitely more my baby than my spouse.. but she gets all her crankiness from my spouse.. and my busybodiness from me.. hahahha!!! But since she is 90% of the time.. a happy . and giggly baby.. so i think she is more like me.. than more spouse.. because my spouse rarely smiles.. nor chat .. and my Chloe is definitely a chatterbox.. and a marco polo.. my little explorer. So it’s settled …. she is MY baby..!!

Why do I even bother?

Too concern..?? overly motherly..?? or just plain.. waiting to get smack in the face. Everytime, I ask my spouse to go get something to eat, he would either say he is fine.. or he is not hungry. But everytime he doesn’t eat for a long period of time.. i noticed that he gets a uncomfy feeling in the tummy after eating.. which in my opinion .. is norm.. when you don’t eat for a long time.. and then eat.. you get gas, for some ppl .. it doesn’t bother them.. for some it bothers them more. So in order to avoid this discomfort.. i always encourage my spouse to eat like I .. every 3hrs.. but of course.. he refuses to see it my way. And whenever I ask him to go get food (moreso now..because we have to be at the store till late.. since we don’t have even staffing).. he makes me feel like a bug or when he eventually does go get food.. he does it so grudgingly.. and then i get all upset .. because of his attitude. So why do I even bother to even ask him to go get food..??? If I were home .. in singapore.. i would have smack his face.. and send him to London Square.. but for now… i am alone in a foreign country.. no car.. and cannot drive.. so cannot just up and leave.. when he gives me his attitude.. but one day.. one day.. when I am no longer around.. anymore.. i hope that someone treats him the way he wants.. ignore him completely..??!!!??? Don’t care whether he eats or not.. or if his stomach bothers him or not.. in the evening. I hope he gets someone he so rightfully deserve.
So my resolution .. from now.. no more asking him to go eat or get food.. and end up feeling like a damn fool.

Mosquitoes and Bugs Suxs!@#$%^&@#&*%$$##

I swear I’ve been bitten everywhere possible on my body by some damn mosquitoes or bugs..!!! This year .. it has been particularly bad.. they bite me everywhere.. even my toes.. which is covered all the time by a pair of socks. It’s driving me nuts.. the itch.. and the ugly bites.. from scratching it..!! And now it’s biting my baby chloe too.. just yesterday..!!!! Gonna kill those buggers somehow..!!!! Bugs and Mosquitoes SUXS ..!! BIG TIME..!!!! Only reason why i like winter is because no more Bugs and Mosquitoes.

Overwhelming Love

When I look at my daughter, Chloe when she is sleeping.. i am overcome by this overwhelming feeling of unlimited and unconditional love for her. The feeling is so good.. that i sometimes feel like crying.. and thank God everyday for this precious life .. and the unlimited joy this life has brought along with her. My baby is such a good girl.. and whenever she giggle.. or laugh aloud.. she is so cute.. and she makes the funniest face ever. I just wanna protect my baby forever.. and give her the best I can and teach her well and be there for her always.
Thank you, God for my baby, Chloe.

BBQ at Hectanooga 2004

Well.. day turned out to be raining.. suxs..!!! The turn out was great.. didn’t expect so many relatives. Some who are customers at the store and we didn’t even know that… hahah!! so no need to be nice to them anymore when they come into the store since they are family .. hahah!!! Chloe did pretty well.. and didn’t cry very much.. but she wouldn’t take her nap.. so we had to come home earlier than we planned.. and no fireworks as the weather was really gloomy. Almost everyone we know were at Snare Lake Lodge .. and the food was aplently and great.. i had quite a few things to eat. Unfortunately.. we didn’t have the wine we bought for the BBQ.. Chloe was beginning to get real fussy .. in the end.. so we had to leave. She slept on the way home. As usual.. Lynn and Helena were great hosts. Fernand must have lost some weight.. and so has Bobby. The kids are all grown up.. jeezeee.. i wouldn’t recognise any of them.. if they were at the mall. Bailey.. Megan .. Jake.. Thomas.. just to name a few.. boy have they grown. Too bad this year Brian didn’t come home. Would have made Helena really happy to see him visit too I am sure. Some old folks we didn’t recognise at all. Richard was at the lodge too.. i was surprised to see him. When chloe came home, she was in a good mood.. and she learnt how to put her hand over her mouth.. when she is making noises.. the way her da-da taught her this afternoon at the lodge. Everyone said Chloe was real cute!! But of course .. she is my daughter.

Not much of a summer and not looking forward to winter

We didn’t have much of a summer this year.. and it’s gonna be over too soon.. 🙁
I was telling my spouse.. about wat a long winter we had this year.. and when summer finally came.. we still didn’t have the best weather.. it was either still too cold.. or raining.. or humid or too muggy.. or now.. too hot.. for comfort..!! And no air-con at home.. !!! i hope next summer will be better because Chloe would be walking then.. and she would wanna do lots of things outside. I hope she likes her stroller better next year. And once again today.. the sky looks gloomy.. 🙁
Well.. i guess our yearly summer BBQ at Hectanooga.. is not gonna go well today.. and I thought we are gonna be able to fire up some fireworks tonite.. 🙁
Oh well.. i’m keeping my fingers cross .. for the fireworks.. bbq.. and mosquitoes.. ( i attract them.. like bees to honey.. I’ve had so many this year.. it’s unbelieveable..!! )

Supermarket Obsession

I swear I go to the supermarket everyday.. and it almost seems like we spent .. $ 50 – $100 everyday on buying something….. we’ve got so much food.. and yet sometimes.. i tell my spouse.. that i’ve got nothing to eat..!!! I must be crazy..!! I wow not to go to the supermarket for at least a week.. starting from today.. i am gonna eat everything and anything I can find in my house.. in my fridge and freezer.. by the way.. i have another freezer.. besides the one in the fridge..!! Full of stuff in it..!!! Ok .. Tweety.. no more shopping for food .. for a week now..!!!!! Plus .. we eat out at least once a day.. whether it’s KFC .. or Mac’s .. not Mac’s recently though.. once upon a time.. i used to have Mac’s everyday. At one point .. my spouse told me.. that we spent alot on food.. and i was pretty upset.. because I need to eat right..???!!??? And so does Chloe.. ! But my spouse is good with just hotdog .. while I must have something elaborate.. like my chinese food.. and they don’t come cheaply.. 🙁 But i so crave for my chinese food though.. so i don’t know wat i can do. My poor spouse .. didn’t say another word .. about food.. because i was pretty obsessed for a few days. Anyhow.. i am gonna try .. not go to the supermarket for a week.. and finish up any food i can get ahold of from home.. for a week.. that should give my spouse some relieve.. hah!!

A Real Trooper

Chloe was a real trooper today.. we had to be in the store as early as 12noon because we don’t have enough staffing. And Chloe was very well behaved the whole day.. and ate and slept as scheduled.. although she didn’t eat her solids too much. I put her in her stroller to go get some lunch.. but she didn’t like it alot.. and even protested abit.. but once i started moving the stroller .. she didn’t mind it so much.. 🙂 We count ourselves really lucky.. that Chloe naps half and hour every 3 hrs.. and goes to bed.. at around 9 – 9.30pm.. if her schedule ain’t disturb. Like yesterday … we came home late from the store.. and she took a nap .. while we were driving home.. so that upsetted her schedule..and she didn’t go down to sleep till amost midnite last nite.. and got up at 5am.. and another time at 9am.. usually she sleeps till 10am… thus giving us more sleep.. that we needed .. and was fussy in the morning for her da-da. But towards later in the morning.. she was alright. And her lower teeth are sticking out abit more today. Can’t wait to see them fully out.


Chloe’s ex-babysitter came to visit at the store yesterday.. and Chloe just took to her immediately.. !!! Baffled i am .. because Chloe hasn’t seen her for almost 3 weeks now..!!! I’m happy for Chloe that she can remember her of course.. because I don’t want Chloe to forget her either.. and when Chloe grow older.. i will certainly let Chloe know that she helped babysat her .. when she was an infant. When i told Mr C that she was in and chloe took to her immediately .. Mr C said.. she had her horns filed and hidden well.. hahah!! it was funny..!! Now that made me wonder once again.. but like i said.. i can’t take any chances with my daughter.. and i don’t wanna be one of those mom.. that regrets in the end.. and say.. why didn’t i do this.. or that.. because with Chloe i cannot afford any kinda mistake.. she is too precious .. to me. So yes.. i still stick by my decision.. that looking after Chloe on my own is still the best.

Gay husband??? or just Evil man..?? Or small town man..???

Someone came into the store yesterday evening .. and started telling our Store Manager that he hoped my daughter don’t look like me..???!!!???? Wonder wats that all about..???!!!??? His way of camouflaging that his daughter is not his..???!!!??? like we all suspect..??!!!??? Or in reality.. he is just gay.. ???!!!??? As we chinese believed .. that men don’t gossip.. nor are they petty..??!!?? or am I wrong..??? Well .. maybe there is a reason for him saying that.. since his spouse was fired from our store many years ago.. and they think that it had to do with me…. but in fact.. I never resort to firing unless absolutely necessary. Just ask our store manager.. who has been with us … for almost 2 yrs now.. and you will understand.. wat kinda moron we come across in our store. Employees who do nothing .. and wanna be paid weekly.. and when you counsel and counsel and re-counsel them.. they still don’t do wat you ask of them.. and they still think that they got fired because of personal agendas..!!! Oh .. Plllleeeeeeeeeeeassssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! my life is more fulfilling than this.. !!!! I have no time for small pettiness .. nor small town thinking…!!! I wish ppl would come up to me.. directly .. and be sarcastic in front of me.. then to do it at the back of me.. because when I wanna be sarcastic to someone. .. i do it when they are around.. which i think is more effective.. don’t you think..??!!!??? Well.. to you-know-who-you-are… you can go on wishing that my daughter don’t look like me for a million years.. unfortunately .. your wish ain’t gonna come thru’.. because my daughter look every inch like me and my spouse….. and as for yours.. the two of yours will never look like you .. and you know why…!!

Another milestone for tweety..??

Ever since Big R and M left for Halifax after school, we have been having a hard time finding replacements for them. Some hired on were either not doing the job right by being too relaxed or others are just completely not suitable for the job we have to offer.
We had to let S.R go because he cannot make up his mind whether he wants to work or not. And A .. he quit because he thinks he is not suitable for the job. We then hired on N, who was either too nice..??!!?? or just refuses to follow procedures and standards??!!??? We don’t know wat to make outta N??!!!??? Nice guy but way too… relaxed. Anyhow.. we hired on Cl.. and wow.. !! she worked out good… after a week.. we were thinking.. hey.. we could give her the keys to the store soon..!!! Hurray..!!! And a week into her job .. she was offered another job at offering her $13/hr …. money we can’t afford right at the moment.. even my store manager is making less than $13/hr.. so how to fight with .. a call center based in Yarmouth, HQ in NY. Oh well.. just our luck..???!!!??? But this time… i took it more lightly than I would have a couple of year ago … and looked at it.. on all positive sides. After almost 4 yrs in Yarmouth, NS.. I kinda am able to expect the worst from the ppl here.. or learnt not to expect any good employees to be found in Yarmouth..???!!?? Luckily we have .. our store manager who is steadfast.. and loyal.. 🙂
So i am learning to count my blessings everyday.. 🙂 Life has taken a strange turn .. in mine.. if it was before.. a long time ago.. in Singapore.. i would expect nothing but excellence.. in performance.. after being in Yarmouth for a few years.. I’ve learnt to lower my expectations .. and count my blessings.. 🙂 Like when once i can get any kinda food in Singapore in less than 30mins.. now.. i have to first hunt for the ingredients for months.. and then test cook them for months.. before i can get some local dishes.. 🙂
But life goes on.. and I’ve just gotta learn to relax more.. and be patient.. especially now I have a daughter.. and i wanna set a good example for my daughter.. 🙂

Crying baby

Chloe’s godma came all the way from Toronto to visit .. and as soon as Chloe heard her voice from the kitchen.. she started bawling..???!!!!??? This is so strange.. !! my baby is afraid of new faces.. and refuses to be carried by anyone except Chris and I.. and occassionally .. Jenn our store manager…!! I hope see grows out of it soon.. because even with her grammie.. she does the same.. and i think grammie is heartbroken.. 🙁 Afterall.. grammie spent a good 2 – 3 months with her.. when she was born.
Today was the hottest and most humid day we’ve had so far in Yarmouth, Chloe refuses to nap.. so we had to bring her to the store.. where it was much cooler compared to home.. and when she woke up .. she refuses to let Jenn our store manager carry her.. even for abit.. while i go get her milk… she hung on to me so tightly.. and wouldn’t look at Jenn.. poor Jenn.

Low tolerance

I don’t know wats with me .. and low tolerance for lazy and “act” dumb ppl..and those “fakers” on social assistance!! Maybe.. it’s because i’m so used to the asian society where we are always ultra-efficient.. and pro-active.. and don’t have unemployment.. like they do here.. and in the states..???!!?? Am i super efficient.. ??? No..! Hell no..!! But all I’m asking is for some decency.. in ppl… unfortunately.. there isn’t much who have some.. of course there are the rare few.. and i’m glad i know who they are.. and are acquaintances with them.. but you don’t find many “Gems” here.. 🙁
I know for sure .. i have very low tolerance.. for these ppl.. coz’ i just can’t stand them.. or be anywheres near them. And most are not really dumb.. they just act dumb.. and are definitely just lazy… as for those “fakers” on social assistance.. i don’t know wat word to describe them best..??!!?? Parasites..???!!!?? Deadbeat..???!!?? Freeloader..???!!??
The ppl we go thru’ as employees here.. are fantastic.. i tell you .. !! i have one that I can only tolerate for a few hours.. !! you had to tell her 10 times to F10 .. in order to get the phone # or the name of a customer.. and it was within the same hour… that we reminded her. Took an hour for her .. to put movies back onto the shelves. I don’t know if she was slow.. or just plain stupid..??!!?? But i’m really giving this one a benefit of doubt.. i think she is really, really slow.
I also have another fella we hired a few years ago.. and was fired 3 days later .. coz’ you can’t tell him .. wat to do in front of a customer.. coz’ it embarrasses him… so he said. OMG..!!! WTF..!!! [Read more…]